Dear Centurion,

Dear Centurion,

I am 23 year old recent graduate from my local community college and am having a tough time trying to find my next job.  I am presently employed working at the local sports bar and making some pretty good money cooking, and part time behind the bar; not to mention I have a lot of opportunity to meet some very good looking, fun loving drunk girls.  So far this hasn't been a bad gig.  I have had an offer to work part time in a home mortgage/banking setting but it would be half the pay, and little chance to meet any drunk skanks, but it would be a start to a new career.  What should I do?  

J.K. Jacksonville, FL

Dear Humanoid,

You are ordered to report to your local detention center for interrogation and processing.  It is advised that all other humanoids including the subspecies skank report also.

Cy