October 3, 2009

Balls of Fury!

NORTH RICHLAND HILLS — A couple of burglars caught a bad break.

Standing on her roof, a 27-year-old woman thwarted an attempted burglary Wednesday afternoon when she pelted two men at the front of her home with billiard balls.

Link to story: http://www.star-telegram.com/804/story/1648889.html

Question?:  Where was her gun? 
Thought: Must be a lot of puns I'm just not thinking of. (Help!  Reward for the best)

October 2, 2009

Obama Nation Billboard Draws Attention

Raff sends me this photo and link:  http://www.kctv5.com/news/21176602/detail.html#

Ya got to love free speach!

Big Bird asks some tough questions.

Blatantly stolen from: curmudgeonlyskeptical

BTW:  Is Big Bird a boy or a girl?  And what about Tweety?  And is there something wrong with me for asking?

Chicago out in first round.

Wow,  I thought The Chosen One and The First Wookie Obama and The first lady had a bit more mad Jedi Mind-trick skilz. political persuasion, but they let Chicago go down in the first round?  Looks like Major Fail a disappointment for  Barrys slumlord landowners thugs  the people of Chicago.

My bet is on Rio.

October 1, 2009

Mi aerodeslizador está lleno de anguilas.( Or my hover craft is full of eels )

Dirty Hungarian Phrasebook 

Would you buy this and if yes how much would you be willing to pay?

I think I found the BEST Worst item on the internetz and I need to know would you buy this and if yes how much would you be willing to pay?       Please comment.
So what makes this so awful/great? 
1. Dragon on wood display.
2. Two Knives
3. More Dragons on the big ass dragon/ninja fighting blades.
4. Handguard that are actually dragons with spiny face ripping dragon protrusions.
5. Life time warranty, (if you survive the battle)
6. If Quentin Tarantino doesn't already own a pair he will want these.

Decription as follows:
2pc Fighting Dragon Knife Set with Wood Plaque.
Knives feature: black nylon cord wrapped handles. The blades are 11". The knives measure 16-5/8" overall. Lifetime warranty. Gift boxed.

F-yeah! I want one; nah make it two!



A guy goes into a bar and there is a robot bartender. The robot says,"What will you have?" The guy says "Martini." The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "168." The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology.

The guy leaves, but he is curious, so he goes back into the bar. The robot bartender says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini". Again, the robot makes a great martini, gives it to the man and says, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "100." The robot then starts to talk about Nascar, Budweiser and John Deere tractors.

The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time. He goes back into the bar. The robot says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini", and the robot brings him another great martini. The robot then says, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "Uh, about 30." The robot leans in real close and says, "So... you still happy you voted for Obama?"

(Thanks Blevy!)

September 30, 2009

Pa. man fire replica cannon, hits neighbor's house

A PA man shoots a replica canon through his neighbor's house:
and: http://www.postgazette.com/pg/09246/995476-100.stm#ixzz0Q8fYLIDf

Ammo was a 2"dia., 2lbs.  Gun was 80 lbs French and Indian War replica used in re-enactments.  The neighbor's hose was 400 yard away.  What the hell was he using for a backstop?  His neighbor's house? (dumb-shit) And  a 2 inch cannon is big by replica standards.  1.5 " is about as big as they get as replicas go. Hopefully they dont pile the charges on this dude.  Is he an idiot?  Yes.  Criminal?  No.

Video of a cannon about the same size:

Dude should stick to mortars if he is on that small of a chunk of land.

Video of bowling ball mortar:

September 29, 2009

For the LaSalamander

It's big its heavy it's wood!

"secure the building" & IDF Hotties

The reason the Air Force, Army, Navy and Marines bicker amongst themselves is that they don't speak the same language. For instance, take the simple phrase  "secure the building"

The Army will post guards around the place.

The Navy will turn out the lights and lock the doors.

The Marines will kill everybody inside and set up a headquarters

The Air Force will take out a 5 year lease with an option to buy.

Enough with the jokes, this is worth looking at: http://www.divinecaroline.com/22344/82720-an-intimate-portrait-idf 

People of Wal-Mart

After viewing this site I can never shop at Wally-World the same way ever again. 

People of Wal-Mart link: http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/

It used to be some Fishing line, drier sheets, microwave popcorn, some pillow stuffing material and a gallon of synthetic motor oil and I was on my way.

Now I look for people in their Pajamas, odd clothing, and whatever other oddity I can find.

Activists protest Va. strip club's Obama banner

(Link to original Story:)

You all can understand why this headline caught my eye.  Yep, strippers. (OK click to see a stripper)  Seems the owner of the Club has put up a banner of Barry as the "Joker"   and now the opposition is upset.  Big deal.  If you ask me it's a pure and simple case of free speech.  NAACP shut up and go away it's not racist.

But Wait, there's more!

When I saw that the event was led by "King Salim Khalfani" I asked myself who in hell names their child "King".  Only a moron would name their child "King" if born in this country, and if not from here where is this dude from?.  Well this parents named him Edward Duane Hudson.    King Salim Khalfani  gave it to himself after reading Malcom X and watching "Roots".  Guess Eddy wasn't Black enough for him.  He worked for All African People’s Revolution Party (AAPRP) , called hiself an activist and Community Organizer.

I am starting to realize that the term of "Community Organizer" is code for Racist Socialist Thug or Freinds of Barry

Here is a snip-it of his career path taken from The Richmond Peace Education Center Newsletter
(on page 3)

September 28, 2009

Man sues BofA for "1,784 billion, trillion dollars

The LaSalamnder sends me this news article where "dude" wants to sue Bank of America for 1,784 billion, trillion dollars for crappy service. (Man like he is way P.O'ed to like 10 to the 20th power)

"It's larger than a sextillion dollars, or a 1 followed by 21 zeros. Chiscolm's request is equivalent 1 followed by 22 digits."

Could he be from the future?

True Love

Many thanks to my truly great friend, PD, who sent this to me.  (Pay attention to the words ye wenches!)

A little extra info: This song was written by a songwriter/playwright/author hero of mine Shel Silverstein who wrote numerous Dr Hook songs including, Cover of the Rolling Stones and Sylvia's Mother.  He also penned  "Boy Named Sue",  the Johnnny Cash standard. And as a youngster, my mind was mildly severly corrupted by reading the mock children's book " Uncle Shelby's ABZ's" .  (But most probably remember his poetry in "Where the Sidewalk Ends" )

Hannity interviews G20 chicks.

As a follow up to an older post, An anti-capitalist protester is a pro what? , I came across this.

Typical Leftward behavior.  Ignore or justify violence if it supports you belief's, and don't answer a question, deflect it. Answering might reveal your ignorance or scarier yet; make you think.

Bill Clinton speaks of vast, right-wing conspiracy

I just love conspiracy theories, not for the theories themselves but for the what they say about the people putting them out here.  It used to be that Black helicopters were coming  (They are actually dark green BTW), we didn't land on the moon, or 911 was an inside job.  Now Billy Boy is a conspiracy theorist, again, but the right wingers are just not as good.  (Oh billy boy, I know you had it so tough.  The Republicans were so good and tricky. We know that  they had a secret undercover  intern planted to trap you with her super  BJ seduction skills. Riighhht.....; And Hilder-Beast ahhhhh never mind.

You have got to love those that think so much of themselves that any opposition to them has to be calculated political attack on his/ her self rather than their philosophy itself.  How full of themselves can the goons be?

I can't wait until the Clinton's pull the "We can do it better than Barry card".
Coming soon to a primary near you.