"If Obama were to become a major league pitcher, he would be the worst in history.... he would whine that its not fair that the batters keep advancing to the base on 4 balls, so Obama would demand that the rules be CHANGED so that he could appear as if he's an All Star Pitcher. He would make the strike zone extend from the dirt to the top of the batter's helmet, and when the ESPN clubhouse reporter asks him, "Do you really think its right to change the rules that have governed the game of baseball for over a century just to make it more 'fair' for the pitcher? You do realize, sir, that the pitcher is only one person playing in the game with 17 other players... right?" Obama would answer, "Now, look, I don't think the fans come to the baseball rink to keep track of the 'rules'. People come out here to see me, and to see other big leaguers. I understand that people like you sports reporters love to harp on the rules of the game, or the process by which the game is played, but I don't think that is something the fans come to see. The fans want to come see me be as fair as possible and they come to watch everyone walk off the field a winner. No one even remembers who 'wins' the games...." ESPN reporter, "What do you have to say to those fans outside the park demanding that you restore the rules of the game and those who say that its the consistency of the rules that have made the game such an exestential part of Americana?" Obama, "Those are the same people who protested the idea of integrating the Negro League into the MLB. Those are voices of hate." ESPN reporter, "Actually, sir, I see a group of diverse people out there and I believe that they are professing their LOVE for the game and that your rules change seems arbitrary and damaging." Obama, "Like I said, they are racists. Trust me, if I say it, its true."
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